What is it with Mondays? On this Monday I can't even seem to get this blog written without the computer doing something stupid and making me start all over....grrr

It has taken me nearly all day to organize my thoughts let alone a sentence. I do not understand why Monday's are so hectic. Today we were short one person in the office because she is in North Carolina at a conference and another person left sick after lunch. But even with three people in the office (our part time leasing assistant was with us most of the day) things were not busy. Even with a pretty low key day I nearly lost my mind. I really think I need help because I have issues when my desk gets too cluttered, I cannot function. At one time today I did something that I HATE doing, I gave simple work to someone else to finish. I had a stack of papers and leases people kept putting on my desk that needed this or that. I got all these things down to the last step, either mailing or filing and handed it off. Honestly it would take me just as much time to write the envelope or put it in its file folder as it did to take it to the next office, but for whatever reason I was not able to complete a single task with my desk being so messy. As soon as I handed off stuff and apologized numerous times I was able to complete budget updates and take care of other things that I was having so much issue with before. Like I said I really think I need help, especially since my desk was not in bad shape, it was just out of control in my mind.

I have noticed a huge change in myself in the last year when it comes to organization and completing tasks. I have become much more anal about stupid things (like my desk). I find myself writing everything down at home and at work because I am afraid I won't get something done and if I can't write it down at that moment I can't stop thinking about it until I am able to write it down. For instance right now I just keep thinking about how I need to start a birthday cake tomorrow for a party this weekend. Even though I don't need to complete this task today I am worried I am going to forget about it tomorrow. I have been planning this Nemo birthday cake for over a month there is no way I am going to forget it, but my stomach keep churning afraid I will forget it. My other random change is my need to have things in their place. I say this lightly because at home I still just throw the mail on the table and still let dishes pile up, but I have a crazy general obsession with keeping things in their place. I get so frustrated with the cats when they paw their litter outside of the litter box. And once I get frustrated it just makes me madder because it is stupid to get irritated with something so little, such as the "mess" on my desk. 75% of the stress in my life is caused by me and my crazy ways, but I don't know how I adapted these crazy ways lately.

Wow I got off topic :) Anyway I have grown to hate Monday's (and ironically Friday's also) and today was just made worse when we got the renewal survey back. The apartment building has been struggling this year, but I don't take survey feedback well. I like to be perfect and I would love to have people come talk to me about these issues, but the chain of command doesn't allow people to always get to me and many of the people who complain on the survey would probably never take the time to come to the office during business hours to say anything. It just gets to me when I know we have not done everything we can and all year I just feel like we keep making excuses. I am surprised anyone wants to continue to live with us; I am even more surprised there were a few good comments on the survey. I just can't stand to read people say the staff does not care about the students and just cares about the money we are squeezing out of people. I have tried to bribe people for information giving out gift cards for help in determining who is vandalizing the building. No one will step forward, or if they do it is such a vague description there is nothing I can do. My favorite are those who tell on their friends and neighbors, but because they are the only ones that know and refuse to be a tattle tale I can't do anything again because I am so vague those I am accusing weasel their way out of it. My only proof is those who don't want to stand up to their peers, but can't stand the destruction they are causing. I want to make everyone happy (or at least those who are not destroying my building) but I honestly feel defeated this year and hopeless. I have let things get so out of control it is crazy.

Well I need to finish this Monday and get it the hell over with. More work is in my evening's future. It is a good thing Don is in Columbus with Joe because I have a lot to accomplish and fix.